You know how you read those Top Regrets of the Dying lists?
And on that list, the top regret is always something like:
I wish I had spent more time with people I cared about.
I wish I had taken more risks and followed my dreams.
To me, those regrets really signify what I write about in The Rest Revolution — this idea of back-burnering what matters.
This world just has us all the way messed up — spending the majority of our time and energy pursuing the things we are supposed to want, supposed to have, when ultimately the things that really move the needle in terms of our quality of life are not things we need to chase.
It’s not getting the award at work.
It’s not having the most money in the bank.
It’s generally just... having time.
Time to sit and talk to a friend.
Time to take a walk.
Time to walk your dog.
The Little Things Are Actually Everything
I talked to this group of professional women recently here in DC, and one of the women shared that a few years ago, she had the opportunity to walk her dog in this nature reserve pretty frequently.
Then things changed — work got busier, schedules shifted — and suddenly that simple practice wasn’t something she could make time for regularly.
But when she reflects back on that season of her life?
She really misses it.
Not just because it was exercise. Not just because it was being in nature or being with her dog.
It was a moment of stillness — a simple ritual that was incorporated into her day-to-day life.
It sounds simple, right? Why would you miss walking your dog?
But that’s the stuff.
For everyone, it’s different. But there’s probably something super small that, if you were able to bring it back into your life in a meaningful way — even though it costs nothing financially — it would change everything for your happiness, your well-being, and your sense of quality of life.
From The Rest Revolution — Back-Burnering What Matters
I want to share a little bit from Chapter 3 of The Rest Revolution around this concept of back-burnering what matters, just to give you more background.
Another way machine mindset keeps us misaligned is via the practice of back-burnering what matters. This refers to the process of routinely denying yourself what feeds you as a person — your physical and emotional needs, such as hobbies, passions, and relationships — in favor of working or meeting other people’s needs.
The inverse — front-burnering — is the idea of focusing more on what drives and energizes you.
Six Beliefs That Lead Us to Back-Burner What Matters
Back-burnering what matters is often rooted in these six beliefs:
I don't have time for the activities that energize me and the passions that call me.
I don't have time for the relationships that energize me.
It's okay if my work is not fulfilling — if it pays the bills.
I can't afford to be my authentic self.
I don't know who I am, what I want, or what drives me — and I can't afford to stop and reflect.
(This is a big one — honestly, this belief is the reason why I'm doing a Spring Clarity Workshop this weekend. So many people don't even know who they are, what they want, or what drives them. And even if they do want to figure it out, they think they don’t have the time to stop and reflect — or they don’t know how to stop and reflect if they did make the time.)
I don't have time to take care of myself. I have to work, produce, or care for others.
The Cost of Putting What Matters Last
Later in the book, I talk specifically about the cost of believing I don't have time for the relationships that energize me.
This is especially pervasive among high achievers who have made work their top priority.
Personal relationships tend to take a back seat.
We’ve all seen the tired trope of the hardworking business person who doesn’t know their family — and upon retirement, finds themselves living among strangers.
But real life isn’t far behind.
Many of the clients I work with — whether they’re climbing corporate ladders or building businesses — have sacrificed their most important relationships as a result of overworking.
They’ve neglected seeing their children as much as they want.
They’ve put off time with aging parents.
They’ve all but discarded the close friendships that once brought them the most joy.
So What Can We Do?
When you back-burner what matters, you’re buying into society’s belief that the only valuable use of your time, effort, and energy is when you are producing — usually for profit.
Whether for your own profit or the profit of the company you work for — that’s capitalism.
But to get back to what really matters to you, think about the things that cost you nothing — and yet mean everything.
Time with a friend.
A regular check-in with someone you love.
A daily walk with your dog.
A quiet cup of coffee.
These micro-moments connect us back to our humanity. They help us access joy — and joy generates energy.
Your Turn
So I want you to ask yourself:
What have you been back-burnering?
And what can you begin to front-burner so you can get back in alignment with yourself — and what you need to feel energized?
The Spring Clarity Workshop
So many of us have done everything “right.”
We’ve worked hard, built careers, and checked the professional boxes.
But if most of us are honest with ourselves, we'd admit… something still feels off.
That nagging sense of disconnection—like we're doing a lot but not necessarily doing the right things—is exactly what I created the Spring Clarity Workshop to help us shift.
Because when success doesn’t feel like success, one of four things is usually missing:
✅ Income – Are you overworking but under-earning?
✅ Influence – Are you doing powerful work but feeling invisible?
✅ Impact – Are you wondering if your work actually matters?
✅ Inner Joy – Are you productive but… not doing any of the things that make you happy?
In this 2-hour virtual workshop, we’ll walk through a powerful diagnostic together so we can start to name exactly what’s missing—and begin the process to reclaim it.
We’ll map a personalized path forward based on what we each need in this season.
Because clarity is key to our survival. It's our way through the chaos.
💡 If you’re tired of spinning your wheels...
💡 If you’ve been questioning your path or your purpose...
💡 If you’re ready to realign your energy, your story, and your strategy for this season...
This is for you. This is for us.
🗓️ Sunday, April 13 (3 pm - 5 pm ET)
📍 Live on Zoom | 120 minutes
🎯 Investment: $95
📌 Reserve your spot here→ [Spring Clarity Workshop]
I want to see us win. And not just on paper.
I want to see us win in our bank accounts, in our visibility, in our impact, and in our joy.
Let’s create a realignment plan so life finally feels as good as it looks.
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